[Binzes]

WARNING: THIS IS VERY LONG BUT VERY ENTERTAING. SO CRACK A BEER AND SETTLE IN!


So friday rolls around and its time to drive out for the meet. I load everything up in the jeep, grab the enchiladas, double check everything and roll out. It was pretty uneventful until I got to Holbrook Arizona.

I pulled in for gas and as I’m filling up a silver merc pulls up next to me, I look over and realize its an e55 AMG. The guy gets out:

Me: “that’s a badass car!"
Him:"Thanks man!....I don't really like to run over stuff but if I did I would do it in a jeep"
"haha, well thanks man."
"I just like to go fast you know?"
"Oh I'm right there with you, but my fast car is broken so I'm driving this"
"your fast car, eh? What do you have a civic?"
"Umm...actually I have a 1999 M3."
"Oh no shit! I had a 97!"


So we shoot the shit about M3's for awhile. Turns out he eventually got his supercharged by Dinan then traded it in to get the e55 AMG, which he had so far bought a chip and an exhaust for (he said the exhaust cost him $2000 :nixweiss: ). After we talk for about 15-20 minutes he's like "so you want to go for a ride?"

Oh hell yes!

So he takes me for a quick little spin, does a few acceleration runs very fast very fun....But then we get on this frontage road and he lets it rips and takes me up to 180 MPH!

He drops me back off at the gas station, we shoot the shit for a little while longer then we say good bye and I get back on the road. After driving about 10-15 miles or so outside of Holbrook I see this guy sitting on a milk crate on the inside shoulder. Hes wearing GIGANTIC sunglasses, his hair is so long it was touching the ground while he sat on the milk crate, and he wore a poncho. He had the biggest cheesiest smile on and had his thumb stuck out. I was like "you know what I have never picked up a hitchhiker before...I'm about to."

So I pull over:

"Hey you need a lift?"
"Man! Thank you so much man!"
"Not a problem, hop in!"

So he throws his little milk crate in back and jumps in.

"The names Daniel." And I shake his hand.
"Juniper!"

...Umm OK.

He was such a goddamn hippie! It was awesome! Turns out he was hitching from Oklahoma to phoenix to find this hippie chick he had met in OK city named serenity. So I was gonna drive him through to flagstaff and then he could find another ride from there to phoenix. While driving along we are talking, obviously, and we are discussing the music I had playing, which is a local band from Albuquerque who broke up named Oh,Ranger!. He is saying how much he likes the music:

"Man, you can tell these guys are really chill man! Like a really cool bunch of cats, man. Like, man, real mellow you know, man? They seem like really peaceful souls man. But man…I'm gonna go to sleep."

And without another word, in the middle of the conversation...Hell In the middle of a sentence, he lowers the seat back and instantly falls asleep.

All righty then.

I guess.

I drive to flagstaff and when we get there I wake him up and say good bye. He tells me if I am ever in phoenix and need some help to look him up and he'll give me whatever I need.

So at least I know I’m cool if I’m ever FuXx0r3d in phoenix. Just find Juniper.

So I get back on the road and its pretty uneventful for the rest of the drive except for the GODDAMN HEAT! FUCK ARIZONA IN ITS EYE! 115 degrees all the way from some hick ass town in bum fuck Arizona to needles California. And plus since the jeep started to overheat I had to throw the heat on to keep the temps in the engine bay down.

115+heater=thesweatylose

So things finally start to cool down, I make it to Barstow and the closer I get to the beach cities and the later it gets the cooler it gets. So I start to feel a lot better. Plus I am getting close to the BBQ and all that good stuff. So life in general is good.

Then all of the sudden, as I’m driving along I hear a strange whirring sound for about 5 seconds. Then an explosion.

Blowout.

Fuck.

Its all right, I have a spare and I have a jack, let’s just change the tire and get on with the trip. Now the jeep has a lift on it....Nothing terribly gigantic but it was big enough that the jack wouldn't lift the tire all the way off the ground.

Fuck again.

So I call doc and see if I'm anywhere close to his house cause his is the only number that I have of anyone in California. Turns out I’m about an hour, hour and a half away. I don't really want to make him drive that far just to see if his jack would work.

So I look across the highway and I see an amerihosts hotels right there. Screw it. I'm tired. I'm gonna crash. I lock up the jeep and grab everything I might need from it then hop the fence and stare across the busy ass I15 towards my goal...the other side.

Am I about to die?

Thank god I played frogger when I was a kid.

I frogger it across, almost get hit twice while I had to stand in between two lanes waiting for the next to clear, make it across and look back at the 14million cars whizzing by at 70 MPH, realize what I did and how retarded I am, and light a cigarette thank the dear lord I am still alive.

So anyhow, I walk in to the hotel and walk up to the front desk. There is a cute little black chick working the front. Now you have to understand at this point I look like hell. I am covered in brake dust and tire marks from getting the spare out, weird dirt from the side of the 15, I got that weird look like I had been sweating like a race horse because of Arizona and I probably smell like hippie.

So when the chick looks up at me she just laughs.

“I have had a hell of a night…I need the cheapest single you got”

So we start talking and it takes a while for the computer to process my info, so as we are waiting we talk about random stuff, I didn’t even know where I was so she cleared that up with me. And we start to flirt which is funny because I have to look like hell. And all the sudden she says

“So whats this hell of a night you had?”
“well a lot of crazy stuff involving a fast car, 115 degree heat, A tire blowout with a faulty jack and a hippie named Juniper.”

She starts cracking up.

“Well can I be a part of your crazy night?”

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WTF Mate?
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“I just need to get some rest, I’m sorry.”

“OH….Well.... Smoking or none?”
“Smoking. Definitely.”
“Room 310”

Sweet. So I roll up to room 310 and open the door. Not only is it not a single but a double, which means I was probably charged more, but I look in the center of the room in between the two beds at the nightstand and see a big sign that says “NO SMOKING”

That *****.

So I say fuck it, I jump in the shower and then get dressed in fresh clothes and go down stairs to smoke a cigarette outside since I can’t in my room. And when I am standing their this crackhead walks up to me and says “Hey nigga, you know where I can get some tweak?”

“A, Im not a “nigga”. And B, no I don’t know where you can get some tweak…I’m not from around here.”
“Oh that's cool man, that’s cool. Hey you wanna buy this radio for 5 dollars?”
“No thanks man I don’t need a 5 dollar radio.”
“No man this radio is good stuff, look at these buttons man this is a good radio.”
“Dude, I don’t need your radio. Tell ya what I’ll give you 5 bucks if you go over to that gas station and by me a 40.”
"really?”
“yeah”

So he goes off buys the 40 and comes back. When I give him the 5 bucks he starts to leave but says “hey man, can I hit that?”

“I guess”

So He takes it and slobers all over it with his crackhead lips and slams half the damn bottle.

Great.

I go back up to my room and look at it.

I clean off the lip part.

Set it back down and look at it.

I still don’t want to drink out of it, so I get a cup and pour it in there. Fuck, I still can’t drink out of it.

Screw it I throw the cup and the 40 away and go to sleep.

____________________________________

Wake up at 830, go downstairs and eat my continental breakfast. Which was actually real shitty because all they had was various bread products (toast, English muffins, and bagels) and some apples. For liquid consumption they had coffee and OJ.

So anywho, I finish eating call like 20 tow companies to get a hold of someone who is wiling to help me change my tire on the side of the 15, finally get a hold of one. He meets me at the hotel and we roll to the jeep. While driving, though, we talk. Turns out his name is Alberto and he is from Guadalajara, he has been driving tow trucks for 10 years.

Anyway, we pull up to the jeep and as we are I see a California highway patrol officer parked behind the jeep, and another tow truck in front of it.

My shit was getting impounded.

So I pull up and I talk to the CHP officer and she tells me that she would have to talk to her sergeant to see if she can let me take the car instead of them impounding it. She talks to her sergeant and tells me that she got permission to let me take it. But since the jeep was on the back of the truck I would still have to pay for the tow, and since CHP had to call the tow company not me, it would be 160 dollars and if the driver changed my tire it would be another 85. So I tell Alberto his services will not be needed.

[Binzes]

The CHP officer comes up and tells me I have permission to get my car back and that its not gonna be impounded. W00t! But that Id still have to pay the 245 for everything. Un-w00t. Then the CHP leaves and I go over to the new tow truck.

He takes me off the highway because he doesn’t want to change the tire on the side of a busy ass freeway. On our way out we start talking and he turns out to be a really cool guy. His name is Eddie, he was born and raised in Fontana and has been doing tow driving for 2 years. Before that he was a manager of a target. Like, the main manager, he quit because it was too stressful. So anyway, we are shooting the shit and talking as he takes me off the freeway, we pull into a gas station so he can change the tire and I can get cash to pay him, while inside I buy him a bottle of water cause it was a hot day.

After changing the tire I pull out the money;

“so that’s $245, right?”
“you know what bro…I’ll do the paperwork a little differently……..45 bucks.”

HELL YEAH!

"EDDIE YOU ARE THE SHIT!"

So I give him a 10 dollar tip and buy him lunch. After words we part ways and I go to buy a new tire. Once I get to America tire I look and realize my front driver tire needs to be replaced as well, the sidewall was cracking. So I pay them for 2 new tires…303 dollars. They say it will take an hour and 45 minutes.

Since I have some time to kill and I didn’t eat with Eddie, I decide to grab a bite. I walk along and spot a Fuddruckers and since Fudd’s is the shit I decide to eat there. However, I open the door and the line was a winding snake that looked to be about 6 maybe 7 thousand miles long. So I shut the door and lean against the building and light a cigarette.

There was a gardener working on the landscaping at Fuddruckers and as I light up he asks if he can bum one. Sure.

So he and I start talking while smoking and after a little while he says “Aren’t ya gonna eat?”

“Well I was gonna, but the line is too long so I decided to smoke.”
“well, if you want I was going to get some red chili beef enchiladas from my wife for lunch..”
“Umm…ok, sounds good.”

So I get in his truck, an old ford f series that had seen its share of work, and we go off to meet his wife. Now for all I knew I might have been sold into white slavery and be working the coca fields in Bolivia right now. But as it turns out Jose was a cool guy, he was from Tijuana originally and he moved here first and his wife had moved here just recently. When we met her she didn’t speak a lick of English but as it turns out made a damn good meal.

After eating Jose drops me back off at fudds and since I had time to kill I mindlessly paced around a rather big mall in Rancho Cucamonga till I got the call that the Jeep was done.

I pick up the jeep, everything is going great, I am finally on my way to HB. buuuuuut after 30 minutes or so I hear another loud explosion and the jeep loses control…I manage to dodge cars and construction cones and get the jeep on the side of the road where I promptly call America tire to berate the hell out of them because one of the brand new tires I had Bought half an hour ago blew. After yelling at them for a while I call Doc, he then calls brett(braymond21), who has to pass by me anyway on the way to the BBQ.

Brett shows up with Ryan(ehmthree) in tow and jack in hand. We jack the jeep up from the diff, it gets off the ground, but very unfortunately one of the lug nuts is either stripped or smaller than the rest so we STILL can’t change the tire. Luckily this time though, Ryan has AAA so we call in a tow truck get the tire changed and all is going well.

We start to drive and all the sudden I hear a rubbing and smell burning rubber… So we have to pull over again. We are on the side of the road and when we stick our little heads under the jeep see that the first blowout had knocked a part of the leaf spring loose and it was rubbing against the tire, which is what caused the second blowout.

Fuck it…. I don’t want to deal with that shit.

We drop the jeep off at a church across the street and I ride with Brett to the BBQ. Which was sweet, lots of cool cars, good food, and cool people.


After we do the PCH cruise Brett and I head back to the jeep with a jack, a four point tire iron, some bailing wire and a couple mallets to bash the hell outta the leaf springs to get 'em in place. We get there, jack the jeep up and realize we forgot the friggin mallets so we sit there with a couple of bricks beating the hell outta the jeep until the leaf spring is where it belongs. We then tie it off with bailing wire to KEEP it their.

Brett and I part ways, I go back to docs, kick it for a bit, crash out, wake up.

Then Rene, docs wife, makes us pancakes.

Hell yeah.

I head to America tire to get my new free tire but unfortunately they are closed Sundays and the only tire place open is sams club. So I have to become a sams club member in order to get the new tire (40 bucks for the membership and 100 bucks for the tire….sweet) After I get it I’m rollin. On my way to las cruces for Warped tour.

Nothing terribly interesting happened except that through southern Arizona it was 130 degrees. I thought the temp thing in the jeep was busted but I get to a carls junior and learn that no, it is in fact 130…. So I’m driving along, heater on in 130 degree heat to stop the jeep from over heating with no pants, shoes or shirt on….sweating my ass off.

Anywho, I get to Las Cruces about midnight meet some friends, get drunk. go to sleep. Wake up and go to warped tour. Scary kids scaring kids kicked ass, Senses fail was amazing, underoath bomb-diggity, and NOFX the absolute shit.

Drive back to Albuquerque the next day, go to a july 4th Barby, Get drunk and finally get to sleep in my bed.

So yeah…that’s the story. Sorry it was so long. But it was a GREAT weekend.

Special tanks go out to Doc for hosting everything. Thanks for inviting a lot of people that you have never met into your home, man! Your couch is tres comfortable by the way.

More special thanks to Brett, for saving my ass on the side of the freeway and for lying on the ground in a church parking lot banging on the jeep. And especially for letting me drive your car man!

To Ryan for letting me use your AAA!

To Ahmed for the ride in the fastest car at the meet, and the rush of racing and beating an e46 M3.

To all who showed up at the meet, you guys made all the shit I went through to get there worthwhile.

And to Rene for the pancakes and bacon, it was very tasty!

[Orange fever]

damn..what a crazy weekend..at least u live to tell ur kids and grandkids about it..hahhaha well im glad u got home safe and it was nice meeting u ..ur hell of an entertainer...as i was reading your story i can hear you telling the story with your crazy ass hair...

[Binzes]

Originally Posted by yellow fever

damn..what a crazy weekend..at least u live to tell ur kids and grandkids about it..hahhaha well im glad u got home safe and it was nice meeting u ..ur hell of an entertainer...as i was reading your story i can hear you telling the story with your crazy ass hair...

Good to meet you too man!

Originally Posted by cali titanium

Good story man... Thats quite a trip. Shows how much you love M3's. My beer's just about gone

Then grab another!

Originally Posted by Ronnin009

WOW, what a story.

Glad ya enjoyed it

[cali titanium]

Good story man... Thats quite a trip. Shows how much you love M3's. My beer's just about gone.

[RONIN009]

WOW, what a story.

[c_tejuco]

Man, that's one hell of a trip! Sounds like it was good fun though. Wish I could have been there to see all the cars and meet all the fellow owners. On a side note, too tired for the cute chick :nixweiss:...must have been one hell of a drive.

[Eric BMW]

That story is too long for me to read, but what the **** happened to your M3?

[Binzes]

Originally Posted by c_tejuco

Man, that's one hell of a trip! Sounds like it was good fun though. Wish I could have been there to see all the cars and meet all the fellow owners. On a side note, too tired for the cute chick ...must have been one hell of a drive.

Long complicated story involving another woman in albuquerque who tends to drive me fuckin crazy but for some reason I love it when she does so I cant seem to get her outta my head. And even though we aren't "together" right now...Oh wait...Are we? I dunno...

Point is there is another girl.

Originally Posted by Eric BMW

That story is too long for me to read, but what the **** happened to your M3?

This

[///M3*Snow22]

wow binze great story man.
i threw in a chew to read this baby.
i feel ur pain wit the heat, i lived in scottsdale for a couple years.
good thing doc and bray are good guys or god knows what woulda happened.
once again great story but sorry for the **** u went through