HELP!! Need advice for very awkward situation...

MattsMthree · Sun, Nov-03-2002, 10:48:52 PM

Ok, here's the jist of the situation. I purchased an RD Sport (Racing Dynamics) exhaust system and Ground Control coil-overs a few weeks ago. A friend of mine who is a very good Mercedes-Benz mechanic offered to do the installation which I agreed to. The problem is that he is really pushing me to allow him to have my car for three days to do the work (The exhaust system one day, coil-overs the next, and an alignment on the third day). His idea is that we will trade cars (He has an older Benz with $155k miles, hardly a comparable car) and he will be using my car as his only source of transportation during those three days. I also suspect that three days may turn into 4-5 as his shop may become "too busy" for him to work on my car. Now I'm pretty damn sure that he will be beating on my car for those three days, and I know that he'll be taking it everywhere (Trying to impress his girlfriend etc...). From previous conversations, he's made it pretty clear that he feels that mechanics who are working on a car have the right to drive it in anyway they like. He was telling me about how he was doing line-locks in a BRAND NEW SL55 AMG during a pre-delivery inspection. We're talking about him abusing a $125,000 car with 3 miles on it, and he was acting like it was no big deal. Obviously I am not comfortable with the idea of him driving my car for three days as not only will he beat on it, but I highly doubt he will wait until the car is fully up to temperature before he does it. I'm sure he will be experimenting with the launch control as well. I've already decided to have a proffesional shop do the work, but how do I tell him that without creating a conflict? He's definitely the type of guy who would take alot of offense to the suggestion that he will beat on it (even though he knows he would, he feels that it's not a big deal). While I don't agree with his work ethics, (And believe me, his attitude really bothers me, the SL55 story infuriated me) but he is a friend and I want to minimize the conflict as much as possible. Does anyone have any idea as to what would be the best way to approach this? Please help me out with this as it has been weighing heavily on my mind. Thanks in advance. Sorry for the long post...

Best regards,
Matt

P.S., whenever we talk about the S54 failure issue he always has this nonchalant attitude about it and he acts like I'm being a worry-wart. I'm sure if it was HIS $55k on the line his story would be alot different. This "Who-cares-if-it-blows-BMW-will-replace-it" attitude is another reason why I have misgivings about him driving my car for three+ days...

ChrisInCharleston · Sun, Nov-03-2002, 10:58:42 PM

Geez, with friends like that . . . .

Tell him you found somebody who would do it in less than 3 days and thanks anyways.

MattsMthree · Sun, Nov-03-2002, 11:12:01 PM

But unfortunately that won't fly as he probably won't charge me much at all, and we have a pretty tight group of friends. He'd see right through it. But thanks for the idea, anyway. Now am I being a wuss here? I kinda already know that I am, and I should just be upfront with him, but like I stated previously, it will definitely create a problem with our friendship. I actually wish that there were special BMW tools required to do the job, and/or I HAD to have the dealer do it for warranty reasons, but both he and I both know that's B.S. ... How did I get myself into this situation??? (Words of advice to anyone thinking of having a friend work on your car).

Best regards,
Matt

No M3 Yet · Sun, Nov-03-2002, 11:12:05 PM

your friend is gonna tear up your M3 lol

Chris P. · Sun, Nov-03-2002, 11:15:49 PM

Tell him that the shop doing the install is going to offer a warantee and that b/c of the big price tag on the parts - and the car you felt me comfortable that way.

GOOD LUCK

ChrisInCharleston · Mon, Nov-04-2002, 02:59:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MattsMthree
Now am I being a wuss here?

Matt

Yes! It would, in fact, be very passive-aggressive to let him do it against your best instincts then always feel pissed at him afterwards, while being afraid to really say anything, playing nasty practical jokes without revealing what you are doing, etc.

jarvis24 · Mon, Nov-04-2002, 03:15:29 AM

you could tell him that your friendship is too important to you to mix it with business. tell him you get hyper-critical in business situations and that you'd rather direct your potential hostility toward someone other than a close friend. yada yada..

MattsMthree · Mon, Nov-04-2002, 04:05:58 AM

Chris,

If you read my post you'll see that I had already decided NOT to have him do the work, my question was how to get out of it without hurting his feelings and/or insulting him. If I did agree to have him do the work and if something DID happen, the only person I would blame would be myself for allowing it to happen. I would never stoop down so low as to play any practical jokes or taking "revenge" in any way, shape or form. My asking if I was being a wuss was about me being so concerned about his feelings, and/or if I'm being overly anal about my car. Not that it was all that important, but I just wanted to clarify that.

As far as the situation goes, I figure that there really is no easy way out of it, and if he gets pissed, so be it. Hopefully I will be able to find a shop who can do it all in one day, as that truly WOULD be much more convienent, and that would provide an excuse that shouldn't ruffle any feathers. I'm still not looking forward to the prospect of telling him, as I think he WILL be insulted/offended (You kind of have to know the guy, he can be moody/pissy like most mechanics), but there's nothing I can do about that. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my rather long post and for all of your replies. I'll keep you posted about what happens...

Best regards,
Matt

P.S., The Racing Dynamics/RD Sport exhaust is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, all polished stainless steel, perfect welds etc..., but the tips are HUGE (85x92 mm ovals), quite possibly TOO big, but I'll need to see it installed before I pass any judgements...

boostin500 · Mon, Nov-04-2002, 04:11:26 AM

Well Check this out .....this makes think.

http://vca1.viperclub.org/ubb/Forum14/HTML/005164.html

mdkglp · Mon, Nov-04-2002, 07:24:13 AM

You need to be honest & upfront with him about how you feel; if he gets offended and would not understand, than the friendship may not be worth while to you.

Sun, Nov-03-2002, 10:48:52 PM	#1
MattsMthree Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Age: 42 Posts: 1,530 Reputation: 0 Location: Oxford, Pa	HELP!! Need advice for very awkward situation... Ok, here's the jist of the situation. I purchased an RD Sport (Racing Dynamics) exhaust system and Ground Control coil-overs a few weeks ago. A friend of mine who is a very good Mercedes-Benz mechanic offered to do the installation which I agreed to. The problem is that he is really pushing me to allow him to have my car for three days to do the work (The exhaust system one day, coil-overs the next, and an alignment on the third day). His idea is that we will trade cars (He has an older Benz with $155k miles, hardly a comparable car) and he will be using my car as his only source of transportation during those three days. I also suspect that three days may turn into 4-5 as his shop may become "too busy" for him to work on my car. Now I'm pretty damn sure that he will be beating on my car for those three days, and I know that he'll be taking it everywhere (Trying to impress his girlfriend etc...). From previous conversations, he's made it pretty clear that he feels that mechanics who are working on a car have the right to drive it in anyway they like. He was telling me about how he was doing line-locks in a BRAND NEW SL55 AMG during a pre-delivery inspection. We're talking about him abusing a $125,000 car with 3 miles on it, and he was acting like it was no big deal. Obviously I am not comfortable with the idea of him driving my car for three days as not only will he beat on it, but I highly doubt he will wait until the car is fully up to temperature before he does it. I'm sure he will be experimenting with the launch control as well. I've already decided to have a proffesional shop do the work, but how do I tell him that without creating a conflict? He's definitely the type of guy who would take alot of offense to the suggestion that he will beat on it (even though he knows he would, he feels that it's not a big deal). While I don't agree with his work ethics, (And believe me, his attitude really bothers me, the SL55 story infuriated me) but he is a friend and I want to minimize the conflict as much as possible. Does anyone have any idea as to what would be the best way to approach this? Please help me out with this as it has been weighing heavily on my mind. Thanks in advance. Sorry for the long post... Best regards, Matt P.S., whenever we talk about the S54 failure issue he always has this nonchalant attitude about it and he acts like I'm being a worry-wart. I'm sure if it was HIS $55k on the line his story would be alot different. This "Who-cares-if-it-blows-BMW-will-replace-it" attitude is another reason why I have misgivings about him driving my car for three+ days...

Sun, Nov-03-2002, 10:58:42 PM	#2
ChrisInCharleston Hiding car from wife Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 533 Reputation: 0 Location: Charleston, SC USA	Re: HELP!! Need advice for very awkward situation... Geez, with friends like that . . . . Tell him you found somebody who would do it in less than 3 days and thanks anyways. __________________ 06 M5 07 K1200GT Vobra 500 RWHP (sold) 02 SMG M3 coupe (traded in) Lotus Elise (on order- never mind, cancelled order. No room for a guitar)

Sun, Nov-03-2002, 11:12:01 PM	#3
MattsMthree Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Age: 42 Posts: 1,530 Reputation: 0 Location: Oxford, Pa	Thanks for the reply Chris... But unfortunately that won't fly as he probably won't charge me much at all, and we have a pretty tight group of friends. He'd see right through it. But thanks for the idea, anyway. Now am I being a wuss here? I kinda already know that I am, and I should just be upfront with him, but like I stated previously, it will definitely create a problem with our friendship. I actually wish that there were special BMW tools required to do the job, and/or I HAD to have the dealer do it for warranty reasons, but both he and I both know that's B.S. ... How did I get myself into this situation??? (Words of advice to anyone thinking of having a friend work on your car). Best regards, Matt

Mon, Nov-04-2002, 04:05:58 AM	#8
MattsMthree Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Age: 42 Posts: 1,530 Reputation: 0 Location: Oxford, Pa	I've already decided to have a proffesional shop do the work, but how do I tell him t Chris, If you read my post you'll see that I had already decided NOT to have him do the work, my question was how to get out of it without hurting his feelings and/or insulting him. If I did agree to have him do the work and if something DID happen, the only person I would blame would be myself for allowing it to happen. I would never stoop down so low as to play any practical jokes or taking "revenge" in any way, shape or form. My asking if I was being a wuss was about me being so concerned about his feelings, and/or if I'm being overly anal about my car. Not that it was all that important, but I just wanted to clarify that. As far as the situation goes, I figure that there really is no easy way out of it, and if he gets pissed, so be it. Hopefully I will be able to find a shop who can do it all in one day, as that truly WOULD be much more convienent, and that would provide an excuse that shouldn't ruffle any feathers. I'm still not looking forward to the prospect of telling him, as I think he WILL be insulted/offended (You kind of have to know the guy, he can be moody/pissy like most mechanics), but there's nothing I can do about that. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my rather long post and for all of your replies. I'll keep you posted about what happens... Best regards, Matt P.S., The Racing Dynamics/RD Sport exhaust is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, all polished stainless steel, perfect welds etc..., but the tips are HUGE (85x92 mm ovals), quite possibly TOO big, but I'll need to see it installed before I pass any judgements...

Mon, Nov-04-2002, 04:11:26 AM	#9
boostin500 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 3 Reputation: 0	Check this Well Check this out .....this makes think. http://vca1.viperclub.org/ubb/Forum14/HTML/005164.html

Sun, Nov-03-2002, 11:12:05 PM	#4
No M3 Yet Registered User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 336 Reputation: 0 Location: Ft. Lauderdale, FL	your friend is gonna tear up your M3 lol

Sun, Nov-03-2002, 11:15:49 PM	#5
Chris P. 03 Alpine Coupe Join Date: Oct 2002 Age: 38 Posts: 73 Reputation: 0 Location: Martinsville, NJ	Tell him that the shop doing the install is going to offer a warantee and that b/c of the big price tag on the parts - and the car you felt me comfortable that way. GOOD LUCK

Mon, Nov-04-2002, 03:15:29 AM	#7
jarvis24 m34me:)-~ Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 55 Reputation: 0 Location: New York, NY	you could tell him that your friendship is too important to you to mix it with business. tell him you get hyper-critical in business situations and that you'd rather direct your potential hostility toward someone other than a close friend. yada yada..

Mon, Nov-04-2002, 07:24:13 AM	#10
mdkglp Registered User Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 384 Reputation: 0 Location: Grass Valley CA	You need to be honest & upfront with him about how you feel; if he gets offended and would not understand, than the friendship may not be worth while to you. __________________ There is a very fine line between FEAR & PLEASURE, M3 always let's me stay on the side of pleasure.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Room mate situation, need advice	Ogi	Off Topic	65	Fri, Oct-17-2008 03:53:01 AM
Car feels Awkward	i///Mraspy	E46 M3 (2001-2006)	18	Tue, May-27-2008 05:22:37 PM
Any Advice on Car Situation?????Need Some Help	440HPE46	Off Topic	7	Thu, Jan-10-2008 05:56:30 AM
Need advice/opinions on Inspection II and my situation...	gsbriant	E46 M3 (2001-2006)	6	Wed, Aug-22-2007 03:16:26 AM
Does the new M3 Badge look awkward?	MMM PWR	E46 M3 (2001-2006)	27	Mon, Jul-23-2007 07:47:41 PM